Manfred: Your honor, this man is a Nazi! A war criminal who has committed unspeakable acts. That makes him a traitor to our once prosperous fatherland!
Manfred: Regardless, I have prepared my next witness. I trust the defense has no further objections?
Judge: Very well. Mr. Von Karma, please summon your witness.
Manfred: Witness, please state your name and occupation.
Gunsche: What a buzzkill. Otto Gunsche. Hitler's messenger.
Manfred: Now then... Did this man make an attempt on the Furher's life?
Gunsche: Although I was not present, I believe it's highly possible. However, I don't believe that he would. I can only think of two such individuals who would attempt to assassinate our beloved leader. Heinrich Himmler and Hermann Fegelein.
Gunsche: I overheard Fegelein having a conversation with Himmler about staging a coup against the Furher. Jodl, like any other general, always treated our leader with honor and respect. He would have no reason to defect against us, even in light of the Furher's recent failure.
Judge: And what exactly did Jodl say during this time? Please testify on this matter so we can learn more.
Gunsche: Hitler, along with our bunker's senior staff were gathered in the briefing room to discuss our plan to push back the invading soviet forces. A few seconds later, Jodl has an outburst and says: "
" After the briefing, our officers are unsure of the Furher's plan, and Fegelein tries to convince us that all the Furher will ever be is a complete and total failure. The next day, we learned he went missing. We sent a search party to find him.
He was executed and presumed dead, until the next morning.
We later learned that Himmler replaced our live bullets with blanks, in order to make us believe they had killed his subordinate.
Judge: I see. Mr. Jodl, do you see anything wrong with this man's testimony?
Jodl: Nein, your honor. His testimony is 100% accurate. The defense sees no need to cross-examine him.
Judge: Where is this Fegelein character anyway?
Gunsche: We sent a team to find and arrest him. They should return within an hour.
Judge: I would like to declare a 1 hour recess until they have updated us with the information on his whereabouts.
Judge: Court is now back in session for the trial of Mr. Jodl. Mr. Gunsche, has the witness been found yet?
Gunsche: The search team has just sent me a phone call that they have found him and are bringing him here. They have placed him under maximum security, as he is likely a skilled escape artist who knows a thing or two on how to slip out of handcuffs and shackles.
Judge: Bailiff, is the witness ready now?
Bailiff: Yes your honor. He is outside right now. Just give the word.
Judge: Mr. Von Karma. You may now summon the witness. Mr. Gunsche. You may now be dismissed from the stand.
Manfred: Witness. Please state your name and occupation.
Fegelein: Hermann Fegelein. Heinrich Himmler's aide and world-class joker at your service.
Manfred: Very well. Please testify to who attempted to carry out the assassination on the Furher.
TESTIMONY:
Fegelein: The senior staff were celebrating one of our victories. Burgdorf cracked open a bottle of Vodka.
Everyone poured a glass, except me of course. Somehow, I knew the drinks were poisoned. I saw Jodl drop a cyanide capsule in the Furher's drink.
Judge: We will find out whether or not your testimony breaks apart. Mr. Jodl, your cross-examination please.
CROSS-EXAMINATION:
You would only have known the drink was poisoned if you were the one responsible!!!
Judge: Would you please refresh my memory Mr. Jodl?
Jodl: The fact that Fegelein is a descendant of the god of mischief, Loki, has earned him the title: Master of antics. He probably thought it would be fun.
Burgdorf: Fegelein. Why you sneaky bastard!
(The bailiffs try to restrain Burgdorf moments before a shot is fired past Fegelein's head)
Judge: That will be enough, Mr. Burgdorf. The last thing I want in this courtroom is a discharged weapon
Judge: As there is insufficient evidence to have Mr. Jodl convicted of murder, I will now declare the verdict. I hereby find Mr. Jodl.
NOT GUILTY